Stress

Everybody knows that too much stress is bad. But it wasn’t until I faced cancer that I came to realize why. In a desperate attempt to research what works and what does not when battling cancer, I came upon something disturbing: people who fight hard against cancer don’t win any more than people who just accept it. Quite the opposite, in fact. I came across studies that showed that accepting the diagnosis and focusing on living out one’s remaining days as happily as possible is more associated with living longer and beating the disease than taking heroic efforts to fight it.

I was prepared to fight. I was ready to alter my diet and lifestyle to any extent if it gave me an edge over my cancer. I would undergo the most radical procedures if I was confident it would keep me alive. I would spend whatever I needed and go deeply into debt if that’s what it took. But that attitude, as it turns out, can be harmful. Here’s why.

Stress, in the form of anxiety, anger, fear, sadness and all other complex negative emotions, raises serum cortisol, which dampens the immune system. Our immune systems defend us against invaders, be they bacteria, viruses or cancer cells. The immune system, perhaps more than any other aspect of fighting cancer, needs support and enhancement. So lowering stress is a key component to winning against cancer.

Just as attention to diet, lifestyle and metabolic management of cancer were completely neglected by my cancer treatment team, no one said a word about stress management, either. It was up to me to manage my stress and here is what I did:

I began sleeping as long as I needed. I started going to bed when I felt sleepy. I stopped setting an alarm clock and let myself sleep as long as I needed.

I set an evening routine of watching something fun, humorous or entertaining on TV before bed. I used to consider that a luxury; now, it’s a medical necessity.

I also usually take a dip in the hot tub and pool before bed. I’ve always found water soothing, so my tub and pool get regular use. In fact, getting my bare skin outside every day is for me one of the most powerful stress relievers. My day isn’t complete unless I can expose my body to the sun, air and water.

Music is important to me, so I set an intention of listening to music that is uplifting, soothing and fun. I also play when I can, either alone or with fellow musicians.

I also find physical contact exceptionally comforting. I love sensual massage and am fortunate to have a compassionate partner nearby to trade with. Whereas I used to shun touching as “inappropriate” or “over-familiar,” today I embrace hugging – literally. Compassionate hugging is important for health. I’ve learned to ask for the physical contact I need, something I’d never been able to do before.

So far the results have been encouraging. I’m loving life and giving myself more and more permission to enjoy it. If fact, I wonder why I never prioritized my own pleasure before? Don’t I deserve a little happiness? Don’t we all?